You're my little dorito
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
