she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
