4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
