so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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