i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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