with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize