Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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