I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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