Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She's the barista slut.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
