Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
