Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
