FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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