bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize