Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
