David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
