I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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