I need to stop coming to work sober
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
