Nicole vs. Life
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
