so explain again why im purple
no
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
