So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
