All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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