as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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