I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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