Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize