turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
