I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
