I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
