I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
