ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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