Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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