Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
