I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
