as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Two words: nipple clamps
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