Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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