So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
