we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
