I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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