He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize