I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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