the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
