Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
