Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
