I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
