you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
