"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
