yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
