so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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