it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
