Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
