I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
