this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
