I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
