question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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