i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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