just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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