you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
