This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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