Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
