I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
