Your face is a jimmy john
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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