This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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