508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
