ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
