I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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