I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
