so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize