Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
