i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
