love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
