everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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