I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
